why?

why did you lie to me.
i dont mind you telling me the truth,
you always confide in me, in the past
how about now?
i want the past back
no wonder it dont feel like april today.
i am lagging way behind.
my mood isnt very good
stop angering me
cause i might just breakdown
if you dont believe me
your damned class might lose a classmate
one that loved the class,
while no one loved her.

i'm sorry Belle,
i just need a long break
cause i realised that the whole class dont like me.
i dont mind, and i have been living in that deadful life the whole while.
i closed one eye, and continued to be cheerful.
i really feel like jumping off the building for no reason
maybe for one
but i am real sorry
cause i dont want to see any counsellor
i know i am emotional
but i just cant take it anymore.
sorry belle
cause i know you're the one who treats me the best in the class,
ilove you mummy.