What can I do next?

Why cant just someone just come in to my life and save me out of all this shit I'm going thru now! I seriously want a break from all these, and June holidays were supposed to be for letting me vent my anger on some soft toy or hard wall or some disgusting shit! Sometimes I wonder, does all those that happen got to do with my changing of blogskin? I notice everytime I change my blogskin, something bad will happen. I dont mind going back to the beginning, where I'm a damn stupid nooby nerd. I want all those nerdy memories with beautiful friends back. I dont want a new life with what "in" friends but with all those pain and hurt. What I mean, I want the past back! I dont mind my first blogskin again, the one with the red ring heart shit thing, cause that's seriously nice and that time was a freaking wonderful nice dreamland with all your fairytales filled up with. I dont want to be filled with false hopes, like what Jane said. I want reality, and no one is there to be with me. I know Jasmin, Jillian, Jane, and all will, but thats what they say, do they really mean it? No one knows except for them. I dont want to know anymore facts about life, because its gonna take my life away and school is starting soon. I will have to see the idiotic boys in my class, and thats like what I dont want to. My class is not unite, so is my team. There are conflicts everywhere. And I'm delighted to know something like BLOG cause its a good place for me to vent my anger. I was thinking, what would really happen if I had transferred school in the first place? Will the new school I go be more wonderful then the current school I have now? Is it too late to transfer? How am I supposed to face all the new friends, I dont want to be a whatever-dont-care girl anymore. But the more I care, the more trouble I'll get into. If I dont care, troubles would come and find me. Even Vishal changed. I changed too, for the worse. I cried more than last year, and I couldnt help it. I can stop myself last year, like help cause I really, really gotta give up now. I dont know what I'm talking about, and I dont care. But I wanna change the heckcare attitude in me, and what on Earth can happen to change me! Who can be my real life saver? I need the passion for Volleyball, I have somehow found abit of it in my heart. I want to die but not give up Volleyball, so its somehow I'm living for Volleyball. But what use, if the team are having conflicts everywhere! Help. I want the primary school life back. Or I shall pray that I will get banged by a car one day. Please save me whereever you are Mr Life Saver.

Sorry to have made you felt so terrible in your msg,
I didnt want to. You just sound so nice, and I dont want to have false hopes for you.
I am just a sec two while you're like -- years old.
You're not childish or whatever anymore.

Hope you understand.