Here goes.

Well, seems like th world's changing again. Sometimes I ponder about it, do most people change for th better or for th worse? Even when I got a conclusion to myself, side effects happen. Like, when people have decided to change for th better, thy tend to change for th worse, and likewise, changing for th worse automatically change for th better. So I'm always confused.

Like this. I shouldn't have went out today at all. I spent all my money, even after telling myself not to. I can't control myself like in th past, I admit.

Today was supposed to be a day out studying, because like what I've told Jane, I cannot study at home. No suitable environment simply explains it. Instead, I went out with Fiona, Viv, Jane, Mck, Feng, and Sw. Everything was alright at first, okay. I met up with Jane and decided to study at Macs (?), but in th end had a change of plan.

I'm so sorry my dear, but you got angry th moment when you know we'll be going home. I mean, whats wrong with going home? There's no place in whitesands tht we can really study peacefully, and besides, we're tired of tht place. And we can't make our choice to stay in Tmall and study? What's this? So we planned to go home, and you just turned your back to us and walk. Leaving us there, is a very good idea huh? I don't get you at times, understand, my dear?

Jane, I promise you, I will stop for more than 5, and will go tht place less frequently. Because I think this matter is bothering me so much tht I've been influenced, secondhand, and so upset and stressed. I know you understand, because great minds think alike, keke.

Influenced so much, tht I must stop all vulgar. I will refrain all my vulgarities from tmr onwards. I feel so upset, is it tht God is punishing me for changing myself, and using my dad as my punishment? Sometimes I do feel like CS-ing.

Dearest Dad,

Sometimes things from my mouth aren't from my heart, and sometimes things from my heart cannot be expressed out. But you will not know how much I love you ever since I'm born. Yes, everyone's changing, and you're no exception. Sometimes I really feel like knowing you're reading my blog in silence, because you are always blaming me for th slightest thing. I do not know why you are biased, perhaps its because of th age difference. And I won't blame you for all these nonsense, though in my heart I really want you back. Just like tonight, you're drunk. Yes, you could've talked to me in a proper manner because you're now talking on th phone to -idontknowwho- properly. I know you're tired, I helped you with th mattress. But seemed like you weren't satisfied. Fine, but in my heart, you're th best when I forget about th slut. Dad.

Maybe I'm still young, I don't know. You told me I'm sister-friend to you, in between. Whats tht mean? Let time take its course. Because I miss you. Alot. ):

And I need counselling soon. And please people, do not tag me and ask me why I'm so emo or cheer up or whatever because it's not gonna work. CS.