Mixed feelings

Can anyone help? I want to enjoy my movies with th right people, and seems like everything's wrong. Sigh, I just can't prevent myself. And I don't understand.

Between us, there's so many differences. Many had ask me why I've chosen your choice, and I don't know why. All I could answer them was - Love is a natural feeling. Now, I am starting to feel like I'm an idiot. Whenever you're here, I couldn't feel your presence. I don't know why but I miss you like alot.

Also I can't really find you in my heart, but often I find myself thinking of you. And when I do, I'll be reminded of those msgs, and I can't take it down. Everyone said I should stop, but I was so stubborn. I still miss you. My life seems.. Mixed.

Sometimes I seriously wonder, why am I in this world? My parents are not in a good relationship, God is punishing me by disallowing some thing tht I wished for, so why should I live? I don't see a good reason.

I hate myself! I'm just so useless. Now, I only can do something, pick up litter wherever I go, to do my part and save th world. Since no one loves me. :(

18 Nov, U13 NAS v DMN.. I really really wanna go and see their match. I want see what's gonna happen, because thy will be without jls! I'm worried for them.. And their captain isn't doing much, if not, prove me wrong. Please.